Ever get the feeling someone you care a lot about could walk out of your life forever, never caring, never looking back? :( Let's hope not.

Yeah so the quiz thing (see below) is indeed, eerily accurate.

ECE test went decently, maybe even well, despite all the freaking out I did. Hoping for the best. And partial credit. Gotta love partial credit.

Yay for new Foamy episodes.

Yep, I think that about sums up my life. Other than I'm broken still. Yep, that's about it. Time to go get my necklace fixed.

Got the new thespark.com quiz thing off Miranda's blog...decided to take it.

Result:
The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)


Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


BEWARE: The Hornivore

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy

Hmm...interesting.

*crack* ::small glass shards fall to the floor::

The false hope cracked. It'll break soon. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Or the next day or something. Til then, the glass keeps falling to the floor bit by bit until it's all gone. I need some super glue.

Oh well, on a, uh, brighter note...only 3 days til the weekend. And only 16 days til spring break.

Oh, and go see the cool art I found. Well, I think it's cool at least. *shrug* whatever

http://www.wwwcomcom.com/home.html

Nothing like adding to the fear of a situation like waking up with a sinking feeling and knowing exactly why. Let's hope it's not a trend. Here's to false hope that will soon be broken. ::clinks glass::

Also: Coheed and Cambria just a maybe now...

And, since it's been in some of the last few, I think I should continue the trend: damn damn damn damn damn fuck.

Time to go be told just how fucked up I am - or worse, that they aren't sure.

Yay for bitchy random stupid posts that could mean anything. Try to figure that out, eh? ::shady voice:: Just when you think you know, you read this line and you're like "Hmm, I wonder if I REALLY know or if I'm a retard."

So going to see Coheed and Cambria is gonna be cool. AFI is all right, kinda generic, but whatever. Jason introduced me to Dream Theatre recently...they're really awesome. I like them even more than Mars Volta I think.

So I'm not a liar, nor do I have a reason to be. Just in case anyone needs clarification. *don't take offense to that statement, it isn't meant offensively* Just thought I'd let everyone know.

So frisbee is being tainted, that makes me slightly unhappy, because it's something really fun that was introduced to me and is now being fucked up by unnecessary rules. All I have to say is "If I wanted to be on a club team and play by all the club team rules, I'd go join a club team. Do I look like I'm joining a club team? I didn't think so." Thursday night frisbee is all about the 'fun' aspect. Watching people jump into bushes and pants one another: that's what it's all about. Not calling every rule and having boundaries and strategies and stuff like that. Just about good, enjoyable, stress free fun. I guess some people just don't get it. :/ Perhaps it's just me, except I'm not the only one who has said this kinda stuff, so perhaps not...

Just something else to think about.

Interesting question posed to me today:

Would you rather have everything except love, or nothing but love?

Opinions welcome.

So I've begun to understand myself a little I think. I don't get why I do all of the things I do, but I understand some things. Some of the more important ones perhaps. And I think I found the source of my twitch/tic, though I think even if that is how it started, other things have caused it to grow worse. But I guess to understand the end you have to start at the beginning, right? I found the beginning, now just to figure out where to go from there....what fun what fun.
If you knew the cause of something, would you change what you're doing to try to fix it even if it would make you unhappy to do so? What's worse, fixing something and screwing something else up, or not fixing the original problem? Damn damn damn damn damn fuck.

So Christina sent me something to make me feel better. Perhaps I should change my outlook on things...

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

I think maybe I need a new angle. You know, something other than zero.

So I've always felt at least "quasi" normal. But more and more recently I think I've realized just how fucked up I am. I mean, sure, 'normal' is something I've always kinda tried to go against, but it seems now that I'm "not normal" that's all I want to be. I mean for godsakes, I fucking box my ear like twice a week twitching. Apparently I even twitch in my sleep, which really kind of upset me because that means it's something more than at a conscious level. So I'm finally doing something about it... I'm breaking down and going to the doctor. I'm tired of people making fun of me, I'm tired of the snickering, I'm tired of being a fucking freak. There are reasons that I'm not going to talk about here as to why I have been avoiding this appointment, but I can't deal anymore. The toll is more than just a physical "Ow, twitching this much makes my muscles hurt" or "Damn I'm tired of having to watch how much sugar and caffiene I have." It has turned to "I'm really tired of people getting their kicks from me feeling like I'm defective. I'm really sick of being laughed at and stared at not only by people I don't know, but those I DO KNOW." Man, that's definetly a confidence booster. Apparently everybody is a little weird, some weirdnesses are just 'more apparent' than others. I guess mine is just too apparent to go without great jest.

Perhaps a lobotomy of my entire brain is in order. They could stick it in a jar and then I wouldn't care who made fun of me. Til then, I think I've started to.

Comments on the prior blog still welcome....I feel slightly enlightened, but the more the merrier.

So I'm really tired of people changing their minds every 45 seconds. I think indecisiveness pains me more than anything else. Maybe one day I'll understand and then I can be indecisive and/or change my mind every 45 seconds too. Until then, I suppose I'll just have to wonder in amazement.

Love is an interesting game. At times it seems it couldn't get any better, but then it seems to kick you flat on your ass and tell you to fuck off. How long does it take someone to fall out of love? Is it an instantaneous thing, or does it take time and distance? If someone is truly in love, can they fall out, or does the feeling just get pushed to the side, perhaps just as they did?

Perhaps enlightening opinions will be found in the comments.

So I'm kinda hungry, this'll have to be quick...mmm food sound good.

The b-day party was great, I'm really glad I have friends who care. I really appreciate that everybody came :O) YAY 4 tipsy Halo!

So, I've been feeling kinda down off and on lately, but I think I, uh...slept it off... I feel a bit better today.

Food time. Time for food. And to bring Christina her keys.