With every good thing comes another bad one.

I need a pet. I wish I had time for one. :( Fishies just don't cut it. You can't hold them. But, I know that I don't have time for a "real" pet, so fishy it is. Poor Dogbert. I love him, I promise. He's the best fish ever.

Would never have guessed you can be at your highest and your lowest at the same point in time. It is an interesting feeling. Like being ripped apart and held together at the same time. Not too surprisingly, I like it and hate it at the same time. Go figure.

A few new things to wonder about.

Wow. I should never be bored and online again. The things I find fill me with a sadness of awe. I mean look at this:



That's right, you can now point a gun at yourself, pull the trigger, and dry your hair.

And then there's this. Yeah, all those bands you either absolutely were in love with or wanted to murder when you were 13 are back. The Spice Girls are back together too. But a movie? I mean come on...But hey, you can't hate them too much, especially if you liked them when you were little. That would be like saying you were a moron when you were 13. And we can't have that. :)

**Post edit**

And last but not least, there is this.
For all the guys out there who are "angry" and giant assholes but don't want to change. Obviously what you need is a syndrome, not a foot up the ass. Jeez, I'm so tired of everything being a disease. When are the things that bother me about people going to become diseases so that we can quarantine all THOSE people on a deserted island which we then blow up? I'm waiting.

The Aristocrats.

This was quite possibly the worst movie ever. No, I can't say that. It wasn't even a movie. A movie...hell, even most porn, at least TRIES to have a plot. This "movie" was more of a "documentary" on...well...nothing. Ok, it was about the "worst joke ever" But who wants to sit and listen for an excessively long 86 min to ONE joke? And not even a funny one at that...

Ok, to sum it up: Don't go see this movie. Not even if it's free. Not even if someone tells you it's good. It's not. I don't generally talk about how bad a movie is. But I think people need to be saved from this one. I want my hour and a half back. And my $6.

Hmm. In reading the blogs of others, mine seems pretty shallow. It almost makes me think I should start posting some of the longer rambles I occasionally spew onto the page, but which never make it past the "Save as Draft" key. I find life is hard to appreciate sometimes. Even when it's going well, or maybe especially when it's going well. I know I've had far from a "difficult" life, my trials and tribulations are child's play compared to the difficulties of those I know. But this is also something that one becomes accustomed to - the ease and relaxedness at which one can float through life.

Yes, for those of you who are about to kill me for seeming to complain about this, the story continues.

I may have had it easy as a kid, I may have had it easy as an adolescent, hell, I probably still have it easy now. But "easy" is getting harder. Easy takes more and more work each day, which, by definition, kind of makes easy....not so. I'm not complaining, not at all - maybe a little - but really, I kind of enjoy it. Sure, I'll bitch and complain about it all day, but in the end, it kind of feels good. More like "new but itchy sweater" good, not like "raging orgasm" good. Granted, I haven't done too well at this added level of difficulty, but I'm trying. And I'm getting better. But at the same time I'm getting very burnt out. I'm at a point where I don't really know what to do, where to turn or how to get there. I think I know where I'd like to be, but I don't know how feasible it is to make it there. But I guess that's part of "not so terribly easy" is not knowing. And I guess I don't know if that's even true...time will tell I suppose.

And as Andrea said, and I move to agree with, I hit myself with a hammer because it does feel so good to stop. So much drama now past, perpetuated by others but; while being abhorred by me, also somewhat welcomed. Especially now that it's gone. Hopefully for good? "Friends" removed, by themselves or others, enemies ignored, and much much more. I like anti-drama. It makes me feel like I'm finally away from the retarded high school mentality.

So in light of all of the deep, thoughtful, meaningful posts I have recently read - here is another ramble of ineloquence in the late evening by me. Hope you enjoy. And, as always, comments are welcome.

I'm pretty impressed. People have actually been commenting lately. It's kind of cool, I like it. I'm feeling a bit better I think. I feel terrible about what I had to do to make it this way, but I think it was necessary. And so I push onward in my quest for happiness. I think I can feel myself getting closer...

See what happens when I...nevermind...

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Wow. And all I had to do was pick my favorite picture. Guess it really is worth a thousand words. Or at least however many that was...

Your Birthdate: February 4

Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual. Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

4 rocks?

I think blog is a really ugly word. I don't like it. I would go to LJ, but it's a pain in the ass. Or Xanga, but I don't like it. So here I sit, with the ugly word.

I was thinking about who I am today. Came up pretty short. I guess I should work on finding that out a little better. I think who I want to be and what I've become are two very different people, and I'm not sure if I like either of them... guess only a little time will tell.

More to come later I suppose.

Ok, so I guess I've been a bit unhappy lately. Obviously. School is filled with torture, I don't like my research and I need a break from my so-called break. But I guess i shouldn't be down about it, it's not like there is anything I can do to fix it. At least not right now. So I've decided that is something I'm going to work on...the disliking everything I'm doing. And perhaps in a bit of time it will show. I figure if I'm this good at not being happy, I can be pretty good at being happy too. So maybe if you see me looking down you'll help me out and say somethin' nice. That would be cool.