I know it sounds like bitching but....

So tomorrow is my sister's 13th birthday. You can definitely tell, too. I guess every little kid does basically the same thing; "Oh, I'm turning 13, inherently I'm the shit, bow and worship me for I am awesome." What I'm wondering is if they realize what they're doing...seriously. Since I have moved back home I have wanted to rip the hair out of my sister's head on an almost daily basis. Her response to everything I say, whether I am talking to her or not is "God, shut up, you're so stupid." I could be wrong, but I REALLY don't remember being that big of a bitch. Seriously. It's making my stay at home very unenjoyable. I can't wait to move in to my apartment next week, and that is basically solely why. I find myself unable to tolerate her any longer, I have resolved myself to not speaking in her presence, for fear that I might lose my temper and beat the shit out of her. No, that probably never would happen, but she makes me so ANGRY. So, in less than 6 days, I will have all the things that are important to me moved from this place into a new place - a place I can call my own, at least for now. So back to the title, I know it sounds like bitching but really its a long question. Do you remember being a giant bitch when you were 13 because you thought you were the most awesome person in the entire world or something to that effect? Maybe I never got that because everyone was always older than me. Or maybe I did get it. Opinions welcome.

A new look...

...for a new outlook. No, no earth shattering moments. No near death experiences that really just involve me just not paying attention for a few seconds. Nothing really has changed, I just feel...I dunno, I can't even explain it really. Good I guess, for lack of words. Like in Office Space when he gets hypnotized, ya know? Just going with it. I went to the med center today, it looks like I might actually get to start my freakin' project. Like the actual project, not just the bullshit work. That's exciting I guess. I also told her that I would like to continue looking at different types of research and broaden my knowledge, instead of just being narrow into one field. She seemed to understand, now I just have to find funding and somewhere to work (for the spring semester probably, I'll probably end up staying where I am through fall)

I don't really feel like writing this anymore right now, so maybe later. Oh, and Jason, I never got your "all knowing answers" after finals on my last post :P Still waiting.

Questions...

If you don't have enough to worry about with finals, could you answer some of these? I'd appreciate an answer to any of them. If anyone still reads this that is. If you want me to post it prettier or more readable or whatever, say something and I might.

If you don't live for the moment, what are you living for? Can you live for a person? Does that really mean you are living for someone else instead of yourself? If you could take one thing back in your life what would it be? Would you REALLY want to take it back? What if you had to give something up for it? Would it still be worth it? If you could live eternally, would you? Even if no one else did? Why do people lie? Where does the incentive come from? Was it built into human nature? Is any human capable of living an entire life span without telling a lie? What is human nature? Do animals have animal nature? If humans are a superior race, why are there so many more problems with human society than animals have with animal society? Are humans just a gag that was created for the rest of the universe to laugh at? Maybe there are bets placed throughout the galaxy on how we will destroy ourselves first. How do you think we will end our race? If everything is so bad for you, why not just mix it together and rub it around? Does anyone besides me think the world would be a better place without people? It might sound stupid but I think that line in the first Matrix where the agent said humanity was a virus is true. Maybe we'll get what's coming to us. If a good, moral person kills a horrible and immoral person, is it wrong? Where is God? Is he dead? Is he capable of dying? If so, wouldn't that make him not God, at least by "our" definition? Are there really miracles? Have you ever seen one? If not, and you say there are, are there also leprechauns? if you say no, why? You haven't seen one of those either... Why do people discredit some things they have never seen and believe wholeheartedly in others? Aren't all unbelieveable, completely awesome things equally unbelievable and awesome? Are people just hypocrites or is there a reason behind this? If it were somehow scientifically proven when the world would end, would you believe those people? What would you do on your potential last day alive? If you weren't on the world when it ended, would you still die? If you didn't, would you want to? Would you ever want the responsibility of repopulating the earth? How far into space will we travel before we find something? If we find something, are we going to try to kill it? Would it be better if we DIDN'T find anything, so that we wouldn't have the chance to corrupt and ruin it? Do you think people are inherently good or evil? Why?

Well, can you believe it? It's finals. And there is so much stuff going on. And I'm kind of....well kind of suprisingly filled with trust. It feels good to have it again...its kind of like a warm blanket on a cold night. Snuggly.
By 8pm I will be 1/2way done with my finals for the semester. Hard to believe, isn't it? Especially since most people haven't even started their finals. I find it a little hard to concentrate right now. Maybe it's the sugar from the donuts Blake and I had... I think it's just happy mode. I feel happy. I hope you do too.