Med school GPA? HAH, not looking like it...

Well, I have officially learned never to think you did ok on something important to you. It's almost like Murphey's Law, if you think you are going to do well, you end up doing unacceptably shitty. Also, I learned that when you are nice to people and do them a favor, they exploit it as much as they can. Is it human nature to try to get a mile when given an inch? And on the same level, when someone does something nice for you, is it human nature to try and get away with not only not doing anything back (which is not expected of them to do, these are not favors done with intention of repayal) BUT to also do things detrimental to the person who has helped you? I mean come on, they DID do you a favor, the least you could do was not make them 'pay' for it.

I guess that can be chalked up to one more reason I despise people. I think it is best put as "I hate people in general and like people in specific." Maybe that's just me....

Wedding Bells?

Yeah, so I went to my friend Kim's wedding today...wow, I can't see myself getting married anytime soon. They were soooo cute together and they looked soooo happy. I've never seen Kim THAT happy. Just seeing it makes me happy, maybe that's why I like weddings I dunno. I guess it's a totally different feeling when it's not family who's getting married. I hope I feel that kind of happiness one day. Yeah, so she had (of course) blue EVERYTHING....it was cool. Even her dress had a blue thing on it. GO KIM! The only person I know who could pull off tennis shoes in a formal. So, she danced with Brad to Weird Al, she had milk with her cake, and she didn't throw her bouquet...the whole evening was really awesome, and I hope she looks back on it in 10 years and says, "Wow, I'm weird... that's so awesome! At least my wedding was memorable!"

So I came 'home' for the weekend, and it's kind of backwards...it's more like I left home and came to visit my parents and my sister...which is interesting, since it's only been what...a month and a half since I left? eeeenterestinggggg, beri beri eeeenterestinggggg.....I can't wait to get back to UH, I miss people...

I got my hair cut yesterday...it's a really scary feeling when you say something like "I don't want it tooooooo short" and you see 3-4 inch pieces of hair falling into your lap...I can't decide if I like it though...it's....uhm...different than I've ever had it before. I guess time will tell and I may end up with reallllllly short hair if I decide I don't like it.

Hrm, I think that's all...probably not, but it's all enough...

Pseudo-me-oid

It feels odd to be the new kid. Especially when I am used to being 'the regular' here, or a 'frequent visitor' there, familiar with my surroundings, comfortable with the atmosphere, super-trusting with and super-trusted by my friends. I don't think I have that here - the familiarity, the comfort, the trust - anything. Don't get me wrong, I really like it here, the people are nice, but most everyone seems to be on guard, almost to a level where they think they have to seem fake to be real. Maybe that's just how the 'real world' works - the more fake you are, the more you succeed. Well, in a society composed of these norms, maybe not conforming to societal norms is a better choice.

It's notta toomah!

It feels good to know that you are with someone who cares enough to tolerate you not only through good things, but through bad ones too. Like when you throw your calculus book against the wall and walk out the door. It's also good when he realizes you need a little space, so he doesn't immediately follow you and try to make you feel better. But it's even better when he does find you...after awhile...and THEN makes you feel better.

It's amazing what you can learn from someone in a week.



"Remember in elementary school, you were told that
in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is
the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

Go GO POWA Rangas!

Oooh, first college test...it seemed suspiciously 'high school-like.' Makes me wonder if staying up half the night studying was REALLY worth it. Oh well, I guess better to be overprepared than underprepared, right? Yeah, so I really like the people I've met here (with a few exceptions...) but for the most part they're really awesome :O) I'm so happy, yay! I don't want to jinx it, but for the moment, things seem to be going really well for me. Hope they continue that way, because it feels good.

By far the best thing I've heard in human sit thus far: Jesus loves you because you're worthless. (Great thing for insecure people.)

I didn't know the price of one's happiness could be so high. I feel as if I become the type of person I despise. Hurting other people wasn't exactly the plan - it wasn't the plan at all in fact. Once again, the obliviousness clouds my judgment and makes it where I don't see the harm in things until it's too late.

So, with that said, things are otherwise great, I'm really happy and content and...happy. That's about the only way to explain it. Hopefully things will stay good (I think they will!), and bad things will clear up and life will be even better. Even as I write this, the storm seems to be passing, the skies are clearing and people seem more tolerable and maybe even tolarate me a little more.

The first of many

Like it says, this is the first of many 'blogs'. (where did they get that word anyway?) People are really mean. So are rumors. I don't understand why people think it's cool to say things about someone that they know damn well aren't true. Does it make them feel better about themselves, or are they people in general just spiteful, cruel dolts who have nothing better to do than lie?

Anyway, on a happier note, my 'problem' has been resolved...if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's probably better that way. But I think I have ended the horrible trend that had come to be, which makes me feel less like an evil monster and more like a person.

I turned in my first human sit. paper today...I think it was the worst paper I have ever written. I hope I'm wrong about that though, writing has never been too hard for me - until that for some reason.

So, everyone is gone tonight...it's really no fun, I wish I would hurry up and turn 18, this whole 'can't do anything' bullshit has gotta go...