Hmm. In reading the blogs of others, mine seems pretty shallow. It almost makes me think I should start posting some of the longer rambles I occasionally spew onto the page, but which never make it past the "Save as Draft" key. I find life is hard to appreciate sometimes. Even when it's going well, or maybe especially when it's going well. I know I've had far from a "difficult" life, my trials and tribulations are child's play compared to the difficulties of those I know. But this is also something that one becomes accustomed to - the ease and relaxedness at which one can float through life.
Yes, for those of you who are about to kill me for seeming to complain about this, the story continues.
I may have had it easy as a kid, I may have had it easy as an adolescent, hell, I probably still have it easy now. But "easy" is getting harder. Easy takes more and more work each day, which, by definition, kind of makes easy....not so. I'm not complaining, not at all - maybe a little - but really, I kind of enjoy it. Sure, I'll bitch and complain about it all day, but in the end, it kind of feels good. More like "new but itchy sweater" good, not like "raging orgasm" good. Granted, I haven't done too well at this added level of difficulty, but I'm trying. And I'm getting better. But at the same time I'm getting very burnt out. I'm at a point where I don't really know what to do, where to turn or how to get there. I think I know where I'd like to be, but I don't know how feasible it is to make it there. But I guess that's part of "not so terribly easy" is not knowing. And I guess I don't know if that's even true...time will tell I suppose.
And as Andrea said, and I move to agree with, I hit myself with a hammer because it does feel so good to stop. So much drama now past, perpetuated by others but; while being abhorred by me, also somewhat welcomed. Especially now that it's gone. Hopefully for good? "Friends" removed, by themselves or others, enemies ignored, and much much more. I like anti-drama. It makes me feel like I'm finally away from the retarded high school mentality.
So in light of all of the deep, thoughtful, meaningful posts I have recently read - here is another ramble of ineloquence in the late evening by me. Hope you enjoy. And, as always, comments are welcome.
6 comments:
I would say something insightful or encouraging if I had a clue what you were saying through the first half of that post. I couldn't seem to find a main thought.
That said, your life doesn't actually have to be "hard" to be...hard.
~Kell
Get a tattoo! Get a tattoo!!!
That will break up the boredom. Or whatever you were rambling about...
That challenge is what makes or breaks people, that's where you find out what you're made of. Push yourself, and know that when you're done, you've done something that most people are too lazy/scared/stupid to do. I'm there now, and others are there in different situations. Tell yourself that you're gonna step up to the challenge, like a game. When this one's over, you're gonna step up to the next one. That's life, and it sucks, but it's how I stay motivated.
Something isn't hard because it lacks ease; it is hard because it makes everything else appear easier. the mark of a strong character is staying true to yourself when things are hard. i wish you the best of luck for when things do truly become "hard".
Man, I thought the second part was the rambling and the first part was the understandable part :P
Thanks for input everybody! :)
you know that song express yourself? well it sucks
so what's up with all this stupid "art" that they're paying truck loads of dollars for at uh.
other than that, just imagine all the people who were in the same place that you were at one point in time. and then, if i were in your situation, i would call my friends and go have some coffee at dennys
ps: the prices of school books makes me want to ralph. this must be tom foolery
Sometimes it's good to be ramblingly ineloquent...takes the pressure off;)
Life by its very definition is hard. And it only gets harder, no matter who ya are or how old ya get. Unless, of course, your dad is Bill Gates or somebody.:)
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