So, I have decided that "chick flicks" are bad. Not because there's no bloody, gory death. That (or the lack of) is fine with me. They are bad because people are SO not like that. I mean I guess that's obvious, but walking out of a movie and wanting to be surprised by champagne and a bed of rose petals or being blindfolded and brought to a rooftop for a candle-lit dinner complete with violin player or something like that? WHO GETS THAT? If you do, let me know, because I think you really live in like 1800. Maybe. Or in a movie. For real. Anyway, this just came about because of a conversation I was having, and I thought I should post about it. Movies like that lead to far to high of expectations for guys. (no offense) But for real. Guys don't even buy flowers (unless they're in trouble or someone tells them that they will be in trouble if they don't buy them), not to mention spending the time to spread them over a room, haha! But don't worry, girls are just as bad. They just dream up all the stuff and then expect it without saying anything, only to be let down because, as I've heard, guys can't read minds. Imagine that...
Yeah, I think that's all. Let's see what everyone has to say about this one. (that means comment)
12 comments:
i agree that it holds guys to high standards, but hey, they need to do more than watch football sometimes too (i'm talking generally here). now for the specific. i've planned something that awesome. and it was great. almost as nice as if it had been done for me. yet, i know that expecting the same thing isn't realistic. girls are generally more thoughtful than guys. this isn't always true, but NO, they can't read minds, but YES that's ok. man, i could write so much more!
one more thing! it's the guy's job to make the question-popping night a huge deal. that's a lot of pressure. they can't be bothered with rose petals all the time when they're looking at possibly some day proposing to someone...
I gotta agree with Linds on the "making the proposal night fancy" thing, since he'd be the one picking the night and asking the question. It's only logical. But some effort needs to be made on both sides on the everyday stuff. Partnership and all that jazz, right?
Also, we can't read minds. If we could, then life would be like some crappy Mel Gibson movie (again with the movies). Besides, would you honestly want to be around anyone, man or woman, who could read minds? That would be entirely too awkward.
Blake, I think what Heather's saying is that most girls don't even get that once in a while.
It's really funny on the wedding boards I browse, how many girls are "disappointed in their proposals." I find that pathetic; the man asked you to marry him! In my opinion, the kind of guys that do the big romantic thing more than a handful of times in their lives are more likely to have a massive personality flaw that they are trying to make up for. :p But then again, I've never been a romantic kind of girl. The one time I had a big deal made for me, I was sitting there thinking, "This is really impractical, why would he do this?"
I think the best kind of guy is the, "You want flowers? I'll plant you a rosebush." kind of guy. Cause those are the ones who want to take care of you...not just impress you with showy displays.
_Kell
Oh! But I do have to mention that sometimes I do fall into the girl mentality, even though I know that it is uber-stupid. Like, with the example that Chris has given me flowers twice in the almost two years we've been together - both times on Valentines Day, the first time because we had just started dating and he wanted to be sweet, and the second because I told him that I liked the first time *hinthint*. I just wish that on some other occasion I might get flowers...just once. But that's the extent of my girly longings.
Blake, see Kellie's got the right idea. Except I might kill a rosebush ;). I wasn't talking about "Tuesday flowers" I wasn't asking for anything with this post at all, I just thought it was interesting. And expecting something like that all the time IS dumb. But thinking about it wanting it to happen just once? I don't think that is. I don't know any "guy terms" to translate it to, so if you don't get it...uh...I dunno. But giving something constantly wasn't what I was saying. I think that's my point here? :)
Oh, and yay for all the comments! :)
You'd be surprised...rosebushes tend to flourish when left alone.
:p
-Kell
This is a late word-thought. But, I’m gunnuh throw it on the tail anyway.
The impractical women, who yield their affinity to those impractical ideas in movies, normally end up with guys who either treat them like dogs (because they like being dominated) or guys who treat them like queens. The guys that treat them like queens get used to being walked over, and you know how that story goes. Had to get that out.
Some fellers and myself had a discussion about the fictional movie dates and the real world. We had this discussion amongst ourselves, and then brought our conclusions to a group of girlfriends. The girlfriends all thought it was excellent, but unrealistic, and not to be expected. However, there were two other girls, whom I talked to outside of that event, who insisted that real life romance, or whatever, should be exactly like that in the movies. And when it's not, they said they would feel like they've been cheated. This shocked me.
After checking out their opinions, I checked out their age, their possible IQ, and I happened to know their parental history. One of them is a typical spoiled girl – and spoiled folks are the worst dates. Maybe that’s rude, but I’m pretty sure there is a correlation here, if you know what I mean. Also, I do believe that a girl could rightfully expect to be treated to something fantastic every once and awhile, but a violinist on the roof? Kiss my ass. That doesn’t seem romantic at all; more like, disturbing and alarming. Now, having an orchestra… THAT would be badass, and possibly expensive, as well as disturbing and alarming – which might be the goal (example: proposing)?
I love a nice planned-out romantic suprise; but it doesn't have to cost a lot of $. I don't get really hot and bothered over flowers. There are many other things I'd appreciate a lot more and would cost a lot less than a nice bouquet. I just love spontanety (sp?) every once in a while and I try to reciprocate. Keeps the spark alive.
on the money issue, it's more meaningful if it costs nothing. the thing that i planned out cost me nothing but time and thought. just a night where it's just the two of you, doing something fun and together, that's what it's all about.
I agree with eetion, an orchestra on the roof would be pretty badass, even if it would be a pain in the ass to, for lack of a better word, orchestrate and quite a bit on the creepy side. If you're gonna go to the trouble, might as well get a choir too, right? Pulls the whole package together.
Also, to quote Kell:
But I do have to mention that sometimes I do fall into the girl mentality, even though I know that it is uber-stupid.
It's good that you know this, because knowing is half the battle. I never have gotten the "girl" mentality, and it's always been fun when I've hung around girls who didn't buy into it either.
whatever happened to the good old fashioned cook your man a nice dinner to eat over candlelight? *also making sure that no distracting tvs, computers, or radios get in the way!*
romance isn't quite necessarily in specific expensive/cheap activities, but it's in the connections you make together. Sometimes the most romantic thing to do is to just sit and hold each other to relax from a long day! Sure you may have a shitload of stuff to do, but taking that 15-20 mins out of your day to show you love them can mean so much!
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