So I forgot...

Man, 3 blogs in a day...I must be really bored or something...Or I have a lot to say, yeah, uh that's it.

Anyway, so the reason I originally set out to write a blog today i forgot about in my first one, which is odd because i wrote about like everything, but oh well. So I toured the TX Heart Institute yesterday, and it was definetly the highlight of my year. It was THE coolest thing I have done since i got here, without a doubt. I mean, i didn't get to see toooooo much, but what i did get to see really made an impression on me. There was a man/woman (cant tell they were covered) in one of the domed OR's (that means you stand a floor up and watch the surgery) who was having a kidney removed. But they weren't doing it because they had a bad kidney and needed it taken out or anything...they were DONATING it. Now I realize that you can live with just 1 kidney and it will completely take over the function of the other, but, in that situation, how many people do you know who would actaully give something up like that? I mean i say i would, but that would be the scariest moment of my entire life, and i really dont know. I felt so much respect for that person down there, putting themselves through that just so someone else, WHO THEY MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE EVEN KNOWN, could live. That seems like the ultimate sacrifice to me. I mean, wow, it really made an impression on me.

So, after that we were taken to see all of the laboratories, and i must say, they are exceptional. Another impressionable moment...regular people coming up with all of these things that could one day 'cure this' or 'end that' or "make life easier for these people' Amazing again. Then we were taken to the 'uber basement' (there are 2 floors of basement, we were taken to the bottom one) where all the animal testing stuff goes on. That was kind of sad. I learned that no matter how well an animal takes to some testing that it undergoes, it is killed nonetheless. Or 'sacrificed' as they told us. I think animal testing is most likely one thing I couldn't do, maybe on like rats and such, but taking out a cows perfectly good heart and replacing it with an artificial one to 'see what happens' I dunno, I'll leave that to someone else. But i mean what they are doing is still really awesome and one day it is going to make a lot of sick people better. So the cows and the sheep that I saw, I dont think they were being tested just yet, that they were still under the 2 week quarantine 'just in case' but they did have 2 cows with LVADs in their hearts. And they arent like the monkeys you hear about who suffer at least (you know the monkeys some company was doing external heart transplants on and they ended up in extreme pain, pitifully carrying this heart around connected to their neck...ok so maybe I'm the only one who has heard about that) Anyway, what i meant was at least they are treated humanely...cleaned often, fed well, kept from experiencing too much pain...i dunno, if you gotta do it, at least they're nice about it.
Yeah, so the lady that gave us the tour works in research and all, and she goes to Tanzania every summer for either a week or 2 weeks (not sure which) and spends the entire time helping them set up their medical centers and performing open heart surgery. Can you imagine how many people wait for this all year? Apparently there are a lot, she does something like 25 in a week. Another amazing thing. It really makes me think about what I want to do. Ever since I can remember I have wanted to 'be a doctor'..even when i was like 4. Yah, so a lot of kids change their minds once a week on what they want, and even college students are like "hmm, well i dunno"...yeh that was NEVER the case with me. The lady that gave us the tour asked everyone where they thought they would be in 10 years, I was AMAZED at how many people didn't know. I mean, there wasn't even a question for me. Granted, I haven't closed my mind to other possibilities, but they are within a spectrum of what I ABSOLUTELY know I want. The uncertainty that all of these other people have would drive me INSANE. I wouldn't be able to do it...I mean they are spending 4 years and 4 years worth of money somewhere doing something that they aren't even sure they want. What would you do if you got into a job and realized this was the crappiest thing ever and you were just doing it for the money? I mean, I want to help people, I want to take away their pain and make it where they can function as normal human beings. The money is just a perk of all that. I would go to Tanzania and not sleep more than 2 hours a day and do 25 open heart surgeries in a week, had I the skills. That's awesome.

I guess also, I make my choices within the medical field about what i want to do based off also what i DONT want to do. I used to want to be in ER trauma kind of stuff, I have so much respect for those people, but i dont think i could live like that. Always on call, how is one to live like that? I mean, that cant lead to any kind of healthy relationships...I could do it for awhile, but indefinetly? no. I would consider plastic surgery, but only reconstructive. I would deal with people who wanted to alter their deformities, not people who wanted to be Barbie. Cleft palates, burn victims, stuff like that I would feel like i was helping them in some way at least. But boob jobs, rhinoplasties and tummy tucks? It screams "Man, look at me i have all this money to spend and nothing better to do than go from flab to fab, from skin to silicon." It kinda irks me. I dunno, I'm really considering anesthesiology, or maybe radiology. But I mean, I'm an "impressionable youth" and maybe this biomed engineering thing will turn me elsewhere...maybe protein engineering, bone and tissue engineering, biosensory engineering...iono, lots of chances to help people (eventually) there. I have an idea on what I want at least, but I am willing to let it be molded. I want to help people, but I don't want to have it where I am unhappy. Because then helping people becomes a chore, and its not-so-helpful anymore.

So yeah, lots to look at for the future, but for the present, the Heart Institute was really awesome. Oh yeah, and to complete the post before last, Fiji is uber awesome. Moreso than uhhh...other stuff.